"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." - George Carlin

Star Trek: Why I Hated The Holodeck (An Über-Geek's Reverie)

Don't get me wrong; I (still) love Star Trek! It occupies a big space in my heart and on my shelf. My contention is that the holodeck was a mistake. It's a fly in the ointment that made me say "blurg" instead of "wow". Here's the deal.

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Does Madden Football 2009 suffer from "major bugs"?

There are curious hypotheticals coming out of IGN in regards to Electronic Art's latest rendition of Madden football.

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[SATIRE] Blizzard announces Diablo 3: @!$%# All Those Goddamn Rainbows special-edition

Following in the wake of white-hot geek rage unleashed via the internet concerning the art direction of video game Diablo 3, Blizzard Entertainment announced today that they would appeal to irate nerds with the release of a special-edition entitled Diablo 3: @!$%# All Those Goddam …

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Gamevine Week In Review (05/26/08 - 06/02/08)

Here are the Gamevine highlights for the week of May 26th through June 1st, 2008. Game News Highlights This week's top stories, delivered hot and fresh!

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Gamevine Week in Review (05/19/08 - 05/25/08)

Here are the Gamevine highlights for the week of May 19th through May 25th, 2008. Game News Highlights This week's top stories, delivered hot and fresh! 'Haze' Gets A Hazing

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Gamevine Week in Review (04/14/08 - 04/20/08)

Here are the Gamevine highlights for the week of April 14th through April 20th, 2008.

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Xblog: Asschievements

I was playing Halo 3 the other day, trying to earn the metascore Achievement on Tsalvo Highway.

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Xblog: This little piggy went to Marketplace...

When the inspirational well runs dry I've found the Xbox Live Marketplace to be a reoccurring source of mental refreshment.

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Xblog: Rhymes with "J-Lo"

If there's two things the internet lacks it pictures of washed-up celebrities caught displaying their haunted nether regions in public and passionate discussions about Halo 3. Let's see if we can't remedy one of those ailments, shall we?

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Xblog: Halo 3 Is Teh Suck

With Halo 3 waiting to destroy America's collective bandwidth in ten measly days there's one burning question on everyones minds: What does rival developer and God of War creator David Jaffe think? Well, you're in luck because here's a recent post appearing on his blog about just …

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Xblog: This, That and the Other Thing

Well, it's been a couple weeks since the last installment but I'm making it up to you with this Extra-Special Xblog Blowout Spectacular! Oh, what's that? There isn't anything special about this one? My bad.

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Witness: "Senator Craig Tivo'd Will & Grace"

BOISE, Idaho - Allegations of Sen. Larry Craig (R) being a creepy perv took a turn for the worse today when an eyewitness stepped forward to confirm that Sen. Craig routinely recorded liberal propaganda on his Tivo.

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Xblog: Gamevine wants YOU! Join the Call of Duty 4 multiplayer beta on Xbox Live!

Let's face facts. There's only so much getting smart a person can take before baser emotions must be appeased. And even the most polite debate around these parts generally leaves you with the nagging desire to shoot another 'Viner in the face.

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Xblog: The thrill of victory... and the agony of douchebags

I got onboard with Xbox Live at the beginning. Before the beginning, actually.

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Xblog: Imaginary Currency

So, you're looking to turn some of that crappy, legal tender wasting away in your bank account into Microsoft's better-than-sex "Points" for a little Marketplace lovin'? Let me help you out...

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Versus The Gauntlet Of Liberty: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Airport Security

I step into the Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, Arizona from outside where the temperature is -- no joke -- five-thousand degrees Fahrenheit. I'm a bit sweaty but no worse for wear.

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Xblog: Good times with OJ Simpson

So, I was reading Penny Arcade the other day when I remarked to myself, "Gee, I wish I had some sort of digital stump to get up on and rant about about video games." And with that lone, idiotic thought the XBlog was born (seen here; actual size).

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Review: Catan (Xbox Live Arcade)

According to the industries resident pain-in-ass Jack Thompson it's video games like Grand Theft Auto and Counter-Strike which are programming our young to become the next-generation of violent mass murderers.

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Review Recap - Crackdown (Xbox 360)

"Straight from the studios at Real Time Worlds and lead designer David Jones, Crackdown sets you up as part of an elite law-enforcement organization known simply as the Agency.

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Plenty Of Hate Until '08

Every so often I have an attack of conscience.

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The Sixth Funny Day of Christmas: The "I Hate Movies" Yuletastic Grinchtacular!

Anytime I toss-off an entry into my "I Hate Movies" series it's inevitable that someone wanders into the thread to complain that I'm wrong about whatever loathsome bit of filmmaking I've just eviscerated.

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The Piñata Island Uprising of 2006: A Gamevine Exclusive!

Somewhere on Piñata Island lies a beautiful splotch of garden which serves as a home to several handfuls of different paper mache creatures.

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Let's Talk About Sex (Not Having Any)

There I was, scouring the internets for hermaphroditic conjoined-twin pornography to add to my already sizable collection when a series of unintentional mouse-clicks resulting from an ether induced seizure brought me somewhere I never fathomed could exist online.

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Review Recap - Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas (Xbox 360)

"Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six makes its next-generation hardware debut in the most dramatic installment of the renowned first-person shooter franchise to date. Rainbow operatives take to the chaotic streets of Las Vegas as an escalating terrorist siege in "Sin City" threatens  …

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M. Remmers

Articles Posted: 36
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Member Since: 3/2006Last Seen: 5/17/2012

I was born in a lighthouse, my mother was the sea. I crawled to school each morning, when it occured to me. That life's just a mood ring we're not all …

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