It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to "engage" and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of...
Please, somebody convince me that Town Hall isn't actually devoted to wickedly droll satire disguised as a kaleidoscope of unabashed madness. Take this article for example. I'm not sure you'll find even a single Quark of truth anywhere within it. From start to finish it is a complete and total fabrication. Yes, Mass Effect is indeed a real game but the version described here is only available via a potent coctail of mescaline and blunt force head trauma. When one accounts for the author being incorrect about events that unfold within even the first sixty-seconds of beginning the game it begs to ask if he even bothered to play it at all or if such research was unnecessary to the gag. Truely, this might be the greatest article The Onion never published.
